Ever bought something (or things...) and instantly regretted it the moment you tried it on at home? Or to keep it real, after trying it in your car using your rearview mirror the moment you get into the parking lot?
Too Faced Melted Liquified Longwear Lipsticks ($21) are on every beauty blogger's #selfie and available at Sephora, Ulta, and online. Admittedly, I was curious to try them because of how much I worship their La Creme formulation. This time they came up short of expectations.
It's not that the packaging isn't adorable or that the six colors released aren't ultra pigmented and amazingly curated. It's my darn reptilian lips. I was cautious enough to only pick two colors because I know my lips don't always do well with stains. Melted Coral and Melted Peony are both perfect shades for spring and the soon coming summer.
Don't be fooled by the huge packaging. It's split up inside to house the tube in only half the box. 
You see, despite the claims of it being "creamy, comfortable, intense color, lasts for hours, made of unicorn shit, etc..." the Melted lipstick is not a "liquid lipstick gloss stain" mutant as advertised. In fact, it resembles a satiny lipstick that goes comes out of a rather unsanitary squeeze foam tip.
It's the reason why I didn't swatch these directly on my lips at Sephora, out of fear of catching herpes and unpleasant germs.
Here is one coat of Melted Peony applied directly on my lips. You've seen this shot before. Look closely and you'll see the power grid of America's east coast from outer space on my lips. The color likes to congregate around the outer portion of the lips and really sink into any crevice it can find. Another thing to note is that the color isn't as striking and bright on the lips as swatches may suggest.
Let me just go through the claims and slash them down for you. Seriously, if your lips are at all sensitive or prone to dryness you can go ahead and just take these out of your fantasy Sephora cart. Those blessed with naturally soft, pouty, and perfect lips need not talk to me.
Creamy? Not even. Compared to their La Cremes and other lipsticks, they come out in a liquid form but don't have a balmy feel to them. They don't feel heavy nor particularly light on the lips. The biggest nay is how quickly the formula settle into every crevice and crack of your lips if you don't apply a balm underneath.
Glossy? Meh. I found them to swatch rather glossy but they didn't have a huge shine factor on the lips and dried down to a satin finish. Intense color? You betcha. A little squeeze, a little dab, and a little swipe gives me full on lipstick pigmentation in a liquidy texture.
Comfortable? Kinda. They didn't make my lips peel or flake severely but they were too dry to be worn alone. I found it best to layer a moisturizing lip gloss on top or to wear a balm underneath. My lips certainly felt tight when I used it alone; bummer as the packaging and applicator is so touch up friendly.
Long lasting? Sure, if you only eat a cube of cheese when you feel faint. As for me, I reapplied every three hours. Both colors transferred onto my cup when I had tea and ran away completely whenever I ate. I usually have a problem with color transferring onto my chin (I must make exaggerated eating faces) but the color leaves evenly so there's no unsightly ring around the lips. They do stain your lips very slightly after they wear off.
See how non-glossy the color is on the lips? Not as advertised. I'm very suspicious that I've bought a bad batch where the formula is super matte and drying.
Overall, I won't be purchasing any other shades and I'm contemplating a return on these! I don't like the extra work put in just to make them wearable, and the overall product is nothing to write home about. Don't be fooled by bright colors; you'll find a much better formulation in other spring releases!
xo Be
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